


Shane Farm-Sits

by KarkatVantabulous



Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: Minor mention of blood, Minor mention of injury, Other, Slice of Life, farmer is basically referred to as farmer throughout the whole thing, only tagged characters with dialogue, player uses neutral pronouns, shane curses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-11
Updated: 2019-07-11
Packaged: 2020-06-26 05:59:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19762036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KarkatVantabulous/pseuds/KarkatVantabulous
Summary: Shane is left alone for an entire weekend on the farm. Will he be able to handle all the chores the farmer has? Well he'll be dammed if he doesn't.





	Shane Farm-Sits

**Author's Note:**

> my very first sdv fic. I know shane is probably ooc but this fic was more me figuring the characters out. My next fic will be a lot better, trust me and look out for it!

"I only had enough time to cook you a meal for tomorrow's breakfast and lunch so you'll have to pick something up from the saloon for dinner." Shane's spouse called to him from the kitchen. They had just finished packing up their bags for a last second trip to ZuZu City. Apparently their sister had invited them to her wedding but with a recent landslide temporarily blocking their path, the mail had taken an extra long time to arrive.

"Honey, relax." Shane said with a chuckle. "I'm sure I'll be able to cook for myself while you're out." The farm was being left to Shane for the weekend. It was his responsibility to make sure that by the time the love of his life returned it would be as if they never left.

Their spouse scoffed at the comment and quickly shoved a couple field bars into their backpack. 

"Yeah, you tell yourself that. If it weren't for you cooking food for me most of the time I'd be a skeleton."

"Oh come on, I'll get all the chores completely done and with enough time to cook for myself. I am not gonna waste money when we literally grow our own food here."

"You know I only make it look easy because I've been doing this for a while, right?" They zipped their backpack up and sling it over their shoulders. "It's a lot harder than just running the chicken coop, Shane." Shane rolled his eyes and waved the comment away.

"Buh, whatever. I have this in the bag. Did you forget that before we were married I lived with my aunt Marnie? She kind of ran a farm. I'll be fine." The farmer sighed and shrugged, clearly they weren't going to convince their stubborn husband.

"Listen, I wrote down all the chores for the next couple days for you. It's broken down by day and time." Shane hummed and nodded, taking the suitcase and beginning to walk out of their house, their spouse followed. "And I know I showed you where i keep the farm funds and our funds but I labeled them just in case." Shane led them down the path to the Bus Stop where where Pam was waiting. It was nearly eleven at night but Shane paid her extra gold so their spouse could make it to the wedding in time. "And I wrote down the cost for each thing you're going to need and wrote down the total you'll spend so you know how much to take out. Oh! And don't forget to write down whatever we make from the shipping box and—"

"Seriously, you gotta relax." Shane handed Pam the suitcase so she could load it into the bus before returning his attention back to his partner. "The total lack of faith in me is honestly killing me right now." The farmer sighed and leaned into their husband.

"It's not that. Guess I'm just freaking out because the is the first time I'm leaving the farm in like, what?, two years?" They looked up and smiled. "But I know you'll be fine. I'll be back early Monday morning all right?" Shane nodded and kissed their partner. The farmer smiled and stepped onto the bus. "Oh, and one more thing..."

"Yeah?"

"Charlie doesn't sleep on our bed."

"Pfft, come on. I know I love the little sucker but do you think I'd let her sleep on the bed?" The farmer smiled and waved goodbye as the bus doors closed. Shane stood there and waited until the bus began moving and was eventually out of sight.

He had to admit, he was kind of nervous. Their first break in two years? It was putting a bit of pressure on the poor guy's shoulders. But no matter, he'd be fine. He was completely confident in his ability to run the farm himself. He'd seen his spouse do all the chores, and helped sometimes, everyday since they got married. It'd be fine.

"C'mon Charlie." Shane called to his favorite hen to follow him as he walked past his own chicken coop behind their home. The hen happily followed Shane to the bed and was more than okay with being scooped up and placed on the side that his partner usually slept on.

As Shane settled into bed he noticed how much emptier the house felt without his partners presence. Even the hen he loved so dearly didn't help ease the slight feeling of loneliness.

Whatever, these next couple days would go by faster than the blink of an eye.

-

It was 5:30 in the morning and Shane wanted to destroy his damn radio alarm. He slammed the snooze button and groggily sat up.

"Mornin' Charlie." He mumbled as he stood up and pulled clothes out of his dresser. The hen bawked in response. "Let's get this show on the road."

He quickly ate the breakfast that was pre-made for him and grabbed the list of chores for the day.

_1\. 6 am: the sprinklers should be turning on by now but the flower beds need to be hand watered. Make sure not to over water! And please fill the cats water bowl._

All right. Easy enough.

He walked out and, as said, the sprinklers were all on. He grabbed the watering can out of a chest his partner kept by the crops and began watering. He was done in approximately fifteen minutes.

"Heh, so far so good." He checked the next thing.

_2\. collect the chickens and ducks eggs. Put the LARGEST egg in the mayonnaise maker. Then move onto the cows and goats and milk them, pour the best looking milk into the cheese maker! After that make sure to check on the rabbits and sheep, the sheep might need to be sheared today. If not then definitely tomorrow. Make sure the automatic feeder fed them all and refill their water buckets. Be careful with the cows, sometimes they run or kick if you try to milk them. The goats just move too much. Hopefully you'll be done around ten._

"Ten my ass." Shane said confidently as he headed to the chicken coops. "This is right up my alley. I'll be done by eight. Maybe eight-thirty."

Oh how wrong he was.

The chickens were easy. Throw enough food into their feeder and collect their eggs. Done. The other animals? Not so easy. Every single time he would set down a stool and ready the bucket for milking the goat would walk away. At one point Shane gave up on the goats and decided to try to cows instead. They weren't any better, not only would move but they did, in fact, try to kick him a couple times.

"Stay still asshole!" Shane growled out as he cornered a poor goat. "I'm going to milk you and your friends whether you like it or not." Eventually he did manage to milk the one goat. Already tired and annoyed, he moved on to the next three.

It was approximately 10:30 when Shane finished milking the cows and goats. He groaned and went to quickly dump some milk into the cheese maker before doing a one second check on the rabbits and sheep. He'd shear the sheep tomorrow.

With a sigh he set down the buckets and headed towards the gate that kept the animals in their own area. Then he remembered he forgot to check their food and refill their water.

"Oh FUCK ME." He yelled out, scaring a couple nearby hens. With the amount of effort and energy it took to just milk the damn cows and goats he completely forget they needed to eat. That task alone took another thirty minutes.

"I'm an hour behind but you know what? That's ok." Shane muttered to himself as he pulled out the list and read what to do next.

_3\. We're running low on supplies! Please head over to Marnie's and buy 240 bales of hay! It's enough to fill our silo while the grass is regrowing. On top of that run over to Willy's and buy us 60 bags of bait! Then head to Pierre's and buy us three bottles of oil and about ten boxes of quality fertilizer! And don't forget to check and re-bait the crabpots in the river leading to the ocean and in the lake by Marnie's! If you finished at ten you should finish this at around one._

"One..." Shane clicked his tongue and looked through the whole list one more time. "All right. I got this. I'll just...have to run everywhere..." he sighed and began walking to the end of the farm and to the path that lead to his aunts home.

-

"Good afternoon, Shane." His aunt greeted him with a smile. "You here to help me today?" Shane shook his head.

"I'm running errands. I'm in charge of the farm till Monday morning."

"Really? And where's that farmer spouse of yours?"

"Wedding up in ZuZu city. It was a last minute thing thanks to that fuckin landslide delaying all of our outside mail." He yawned and leaned against the counter.

"Hmm." His aunt, already knowing what the farmer usually got, began writing down a receipt. "Must be hard running that big farm all on your own. I'd help but i have to run the shop until Jas comes back from playing with Penny and Jodi's son."

"M'fine. I've seen them do this enough times." Marnie chuckled.

"Seeing is different from doing, you know. I'd say they have the hardest job in all of Pelican Town. Besides Dr.Harvey of course. I mean, you always see them running around left and right, delivering things and fishing and mining, doing the work of ten people. They even do things for us!" She handed him the receipt which displayed a whopping total of 12,000G. "I really don't know how they do it..."

"Holy shit. That's how much...?" Shane choked out when he saw the price. Marnie nodded with a small grin.

"Your partner's the reason why I was able to go to that animal convention up in the city this year." She chuckled as Shane counted the money. "And don't worry about the delivery. Ever since you left the house and Joja Mart shut down, Sam's been working for me here and there. Him and his dad'll take the hay and put it into your silo before tonight."

"Thanks..." Shane sighed once more and waved goodbye to his aunt before continuing his chores.

He bought the bait from Willy and walked around to rebait all the crabpots, that alone took an hour since he was being extra careful not to accidentally fall into the water. Then he jogged to Pierre's and wheezed out the things he needed.

Poor Shane, however, didn't take into account that he'd have to carry every single box of fertilizer back to their farm and put them away. Carefully carrying two boxes at a time from Pierre's to their farm took another two hours.

It was two now and Shane was scolding himself for not being quicker with the crabpots. He took a short break, stopping by Harvey's to buy himself some energy tonic, before continuing the rest of the list.

There were a couple tasks that needed to be done for the community that ultimately fell onto the farmer's shoulders. Clearing an area of rocks and branches so the Mayor could inspect it for future events, uprooting stumps that blocked paths, and finally spending hours upon hours fishing because someone wanted to make a fish stew large enough to feed the whole town three times.

It was now ten at night. Shane was tired and starving. He carried his overflowing bucket of fish and headed to the saloon. He stumbled onto a stool and mumbled a hello to Gus.

"What'll it be for ya tonight Shane?" His eyed the man, obviously concerned.

"Pizza. Whole thing. And can I have whatever soda or juice or water you have. Actually no. Coffee please. Whole pizza and coffee." Shane yawned.

"You look tired, kid." Gus slid Shane his mug of coffee and turned around to check on a pizza that was already cooking.

"I am. I'm watching the farm this weekend so I'm doing all the chores." He took a big gulp of his coffee and wiped his mouth before continuing. "Fuck, I didn't know it was so fuckin' much. Literally every single damn muscle is aching right now." Gus chuckled.

"Farming ain't no easy task you know."

"Yeah, yeah I get it. But fuck. The animals, the crops, the money spent! On top of that the things for the community that already overlaps with farm chores." Shane rubbed his eyes. "M'still not done. When I get back home I have to wash whatever I harvested earlier and put them in the shipping bin and I have to record all money lost and earned today." Gus set down the entire pizza in front of Shane who immediately began chowing down.

"Really makes ya wonder how that spouse 'a yours does it all. Running around all day and half the night." He shook his head. "I don't think I could ever handle farming."

"I can barely handle it myself." Shane said through a full mouth. "Feel like shit now, the most I ever do is, water their flowers and take care of my chickens...sometimes I fix the fences."

"Don't you take care of the house work? Cookin' and cleanin' and all?" Shane nodded. "Well then there you go! I'm sure before you two got married that farmer barely had enough time to eat a field bar and wipe the mud off their boots." Shane gulped down the last of his coffee.

"Still feel like shit knowing they do all of that. I mean, I had to carry thirty goddamn boxes of fertilizer to the farm. I practically broke my already shitty back." He sighed and lifted the last slice of pizza to his mouth. "I haven't looked at what I have to do tomorrow."

"Don't stress yourself out too much. If they've been doing it all this time you can do it too. Besides, not many people would leave their entire career in the hands of just anyone." Gus smiled warmly. Shane smiled tiredly back but still felt a bit anxious about the chores to come.

He thanked the bartender, paid his tab, and left a generous tip before going back out into the night. He was tired, the coffee didn't really help, but at least now he wasn't starving.

When he got back home he placed his bucket of fish inside the shipping bin and went inside to finish the last of the days chores. To be honest, he half-assed washing off the fruits and veggies. He just poured water into the buckets they were in and drained the water. The money part was a bit harder to half-ass but thanks to the farmer, half of that was already done so Shane didn't need to use much brain power.

The second he finished he practically threw the pen down. He didn't care enough to put the papers away, right now he just wanted to go to bed before he had to wake up and make himself breakfast.

He trudged to his room only to find his beloved hen and his spouse's beloved cat asleep on the bed. The two had decided to take up the most space possible and left Shane with no area to sleep. He sighed and went to sleep on the couch.

-

The sound of the alarm and a surprised hen startled Shane awake. Momentarily forgetting he was on the couch, Shane rolled off and landed on the hardwood floor. He groaned loudly and slowly stood up. He was stiff due to an uncomfortable night's sleep, his joints all popped as he stretched.

It was 5:30 in the morning. He could either spend time to make himself a filling meal or he could eat a few field bars, shove some more into his pockets, and get a head start on the day's chores.

He chose the latter.

Again, feeding and milking the animals was a hassle. Some animals wandered away, some tried to bump into him in an attempt to get him to stop. Shane finished the chore in two hours and moved on to watering the crops and harvesting whatever seemed ripe.

When the basic chores were out of the way he stretched and took a look at his list.

_3\. Today's a delivery day! In the chest next to our TV I've left the following items to be delivered to their respective owners!_  
_\- 2 jars of (chicken) mayonnaise and 2 jars of strawberry jelly go to Jodi's house_  
_\- 1 large jar of (duck) mayonnaise and 2 jars of pickles go to Dr. Harvey_  
_\- 1 large jar of void mayonnaise is to be left by the sewer gate close Marnie's house_  
_\- 2 large jugs of (cow) milk, 2 wheels of (cow) cheese goes to Gus_  
_\- 1 large jug of (goat) milk and 1 wheel of (goat) cheese to Leah_  
_\- 4 battery packs to either Maru or Demetrius_  
_\- 1 box of clay for Robin (set besides the chest)_  
_\- 2 large jugs of (cow) milk for Haley_  
_\- 1 roll of cloth for Emily_  
_\- 2 large jugs of (cow) milk to either Alex or Evelyn_

_P.S., don't put all the jars in the backpack, everything will break and make a mess. I learned that the hard way. There's a crate under the bed that I used to carry the products, Hope it helps! <3_

Shane practically screamed when he finished reading. That was so fucking much for so little people. What the hell is wrong with the people of Pelican Town? Who needs two jars of mayo?? Two jars of jelly? So many batteries?? And who in Yoba's name is going to get a fucking jar of void mayonnaise by the sewer??

"No, don't think like that." Shane shook the disbelief and irritation from his head. "C'mon. If they can do it, I can do it. And I will do it. For the farmer." Shane looked down at his wedding ring, a wave of determination washing over him. He would do this.

Now, delivering things doesn't seem too bad. For the farmer, this is one of their more relaxing jobs. They loved delivering their products to Pelican Town's residents, it was a nice time to catch up with everyone and brag about all the delicious produce coming from their hard work. But, this was only because the farmer was more experienced at this, to say on the least.

Shane was running around town like a chicken with its head cut off. He was knocking on people's doors and hoping they were home. If they weren't he was now tasked with running laps around the small village to find them.

"Four hours. Four fucking hours." Shane dropped the crate on the ground and resisted the urge to kick it across the room. "The people here are maniacs. It's Sunday! Stay in your damn houses!" Shane yelled, walking to the fridge and pulling out a water bottle. He prayed his next task wouldn't be as time consuming.

_4\. Good news, this next thing isn't too hard! Under the bed I left my sword and outside, on the side of the house, is my pickaxe! I was supposed to go down to the mines and kill a couple monsters. I know it sounds scary but it's not that hard! Just a couple swings from the sword and it'll be fine! Ghosts and Shadow monsters are top priority. They drop solar and void essence. Solar looks like a little sun and void looks like solar except like purplely-black, we need two of each. Here's a drawing of them!!_

_They're really crappy, I know, but I was in a rush!_

Shane smiled to himself. He knew that even if his spouse wasn't in a rush the drawings would come out just as crappy. They're still adorable, though.

_Anyway, if you can't do it it's fine! Just stop by the Wizard's place and let him know he'll get his things by Monday night._

Shane scoffed. Of course he'd be able to do this. It should be a pice of cake, right?

In a split second images of his spouse stumbling home, injuries all over their body, flashed through his mind. Shane shook his head.

"No, fuck you brain. I'll be fine. If they can do it, I can do it. Besides, it's just a couple monsters right? No need to start planning my own funeral over a couple...couple of monsters..." Shane gulped, already wondering what kind of terrors waited him in that mine.

He kept reading.

_If you happen to find any ores PLEASE mine them! It would mean a lot! On top of that, if you happen to find any tiny helmets or scrolls with a colored ribbon around it, keep it! When you're ready to leave the mine, there's a pathway on the side opposite of the mine cart, If you walk through there give the scroll or helmet to the dwarf there but make sure you first show him the note I already wrote for you. The note's inside the cabinet of the end table on my side of the bed. Make sure you take lots of food! And once you get to the mine use the elevator and go down to floor 80 and go down from there._

_STAY SAFE!_

Okay, this is a simple task. Kill a couple monsters, deliver a couple things. He'd be fine, perfectly fine.

-

Shane was not perfectly fine. He was down in the mine for what felt like days. He had fallen a good five times and gave himself various cuts all over his body. He didn't know why he didn't think of bringing bandages with him. Oh well, he'd just have to bleed all over the place and hope no monster would crazy over it.

He had little to no luck finding any fucking shadow monsters. Ghosts were everywhere for some odd reason (Shane suspected they were the ghosts of miners that died here) as were slimes. Those things were starting to annoy him. The purple sword that his spouse usually carried with them cut through these monsters with ease, through every monster he came across, actually. It was kind of crazy holding it, he felt powerful.

A bat flew haphazardly at his head, he barely had enough time to duck. Man, these smaller monsters were more willing to fling themselves at the first thing they saw.

Shane swing the sword and the bat was sliced in half, a second later it exploded into a dust and in its place were its two wings. He carefully plucked the wings off the ground and shoved them into the backpack.

Within a moment, Shane was struck by some kind of power. It went through his back and made him feel as if electricity was coursing through his body.

"FUCK!" He hissed out, slowly turning around. A shadow monster was staring at him through the holes of its mask. It cocked its head, raised its arms, and four orbs began circling its head. "Oh Yoba..." Shane didn't dodge in time and another ball of magic struck him, this one less powerful put still painful.

He yelled in pain, falling to his knees. The shadow monster titled its head again, said something in some distorted language, and turned its back as it walked away.

"Fuh...fuck y-you!" Shane stumbled to his feet and, as fast as he could, lunged at the monster. In one clean strike it exploded into dust and dropped, much to his luck, two void essences.

He was panting as he slowly bent over, bones creaking, and picked up the dammed things. So much damn trouble for two little things.

With a shaky sigh, Shane turned around and began climbing up the ladder to leave the Yobaforsaken mines.

On his way out, he remembered the note's instructions on if he found a scroll. Shane groaned and limped towards the cramped path that lead to a dim light.

Now, he didn't really know what he expected to see, but a small looking...monster thing wasn't on the top of his list.

The two stared at one another, the creatures glowing red eyes piercing into Shane's. It took him a moment to remember, but Shane fished the note his spouse wrote and handed it to the creature. It read the note and promptly set it down, sticking its little arms out and demanding what Shane had for him. Shane pulled the two scrolls out of the backpack and the creature quickly snatched them out of his hands. It clapped happily and held up a finger, essentially telling Shane to wait. It stood up and scrambled to its little desk before scribbling a note of its own and handed it to Shane. When Shane had the note safely in his pocket, the creature began shooing poor Shane away.

What a weirdo.

-

"Oh Yoba, Shane are you okay?" Shane couldn't tell who asked him that, but he didn't think he cared at the moment. He dropped onto one of the stools at the bar and set the sword next to him.

"Gus, Pepper Poppers and a coffee please." He has to keep his eyes from shutting on him, he still had to deliver the Wizard's damn things. He just needed to eat first.

"Shane," Shane was focusing his attention on Gus preparing his food but he was almost sure the voice next to him belonged to Dr. Harvey...or was it Mayor Lewis? Kent? "You look terrible, what happened to you?"

"Mines." Shane grumbled, pulling his wallet out of his pocket. "Farmer's chores."

"Yoba Almighty, how long have been in there?" Shane shrugged.

"Dunno...since ten? Nine? Early." He yawned and thanked Gus for the coffee before he began chugging it down.

"You realize its 11:30 at night, right?" Shane turned his head, and looked (turns out it was Dr.Harvey) Dr. Harvey right in the eyes, saying nothing. Harvey cleared his throat awkwardly. "Well...when Gus has your food ready we should go to my office, I can stitch you up and give you something for all those bruises."

"Yeah, Okay." Shane was too tired to argue. Besides, it was probably better that the Wizard didn't see him a bloody mess. He didn't need that freakshow to judge him.

-

"You know," Harvey began as he finished stitching Shane up, "the mines are a dangerous place. You really shouldn't be throwing yourself in there so unprepared and—"

Shane yawned loudly.

"Buh, Listen Doctor. It's late and I still have a delivery to make. I'm dead tired and I'm sure you are too. I'll come back tomorrow and you'll scold me or whatever. Deal?" Harvey blinked but nodded hesitantly. Shane thanked him and slowly stood up, leaving the poor doctor alone and somewhat confused.

Shane made the final delivery of the day (that damn wizard judged him anyway) and trudged back home. At this point it was almost two in the morning. Shane was dead tired, he wanted to pass out on the ground in front of him.

"S'nearly two in the morning..." Shane scratched the back of his head. "Bus'll be here at five..." His mind was working a bit slower at the moment but he figured he'd have about three hours before he had to walk to the bus stop to greet his beloved spouse.

"Or..." Shane spoke slowly. "I can, uhhh," he looked out the kitchen window, "I can do something nice..."

-

It was 5:05 in the morning. Shane was dead tired but seeing the farmer step out of ZuZu city's bus give him a little burst of energy. He smiled widely, pulling his spouse into a big bear hug.

"I'm so glad you're home." Shane kissed the side of their head. "I missed you. Did ya have fun?" The farmer nodded.

"The groom's side got really drunk and kept trying to pick a fight with some of my cousins. Oh and yours truly won a bet that I could beat my now brother-in-law in arm wrestling." The farmer grinned. "Lugging around rocks and wood all day really pays off." Shane chuckled and pressed another kiss to their forehead.

"I'm glad you had so much fun." He turned around and quickly thanked Pam for bringing his spouse back so early in the morning and grabbed their suitcase. "Now, you and I can spend the rest of the day passed out in bed." The two began walking.

"Shane, you know I have to get started. I have to feed the animals and water and—"

"No. No you don't. You see," Shane grinned, "After I came back from Harvey's place I decided to stay up and do some work nice and early so you, technically, have the day off. Unless you want to go running around."

"Oh my Yoba." The farmer grinned widely, "You shouldn't have! You already spent two days doing all my work for me. Which is what I'm assuming the visit to Harvey's was for." Shane chuckled, opening their front door with his free hand.

"What can i say, at my age it's harder for me to defeat assloads of monsters down in the mines." The farmer rolled their eyes and pecked their husbands cheek. "You go ahead and lay down, I'll grab us our finest field bars and serve us our freshest milk." Shane didn't have to tell them twice. The farmer took their suitcase and walked off to the bedroom.

Shane sighed happily, going to their kitchen. Yoba it was great to see their spouse again.

"I thought I said Charlie wasn't allowed on the bed!!"

Ah, shit.


End file.
